What We Love: ShoneTV

It’s Monday, The Black Community, and that means it’s time for our favorite type of programming. Shone TV. Love or hate it, but the TV shows focused on privileged women with loose morals and bad tempers are all the rage in The Black Community. BET never had such good ratings until they started airing “The Game”. It’s about time they showed something other than nonstop reruns of Leprechaun 3. VH1, MTV, and even the “women upliftment channels” Bravo, Oxygen and Lifetime have cashed in on this phenomenon. Damn. It’s the life we all wish to lead, but don’t want to tell anyone. It's easier to just watch it on TV in the comfort of our own living rooms.

Let’s Chill: Vol 56.

Well damn. Can’t say you didn’t see this one coming, The Black Community. The all-important “Relationship Forum”. It’s a staple in The Black Community, combining all the joys of Maury, Jerry Springer, and those “Shone Shows” on VH1 and BET. Shouts to Single Ladies! The Relationship Forum is that one event that is always guaranteed to hit, no matter what. Just when you think The Black Community is on that “progression” vibe, and we are ascending to a level of cultural perfection, this forum slaps you across the face with reality.

The Week That Was - Internets Phenomenon

We made it to Week 3, The Black Community. In only 2 short Weeks, Summer B is rolling along and history is being made. Here's a recap of last week.

7/6 - #OAS Is the show that never ends. LambChop is jealous, and Grown Men Cry.[ "The Show Must Go On…and On..and On. #OAS"]

7/7 - Financial Aid Drops. Cocoa Butter Lotion and Hair Grease is sold out everywhere. Those White People in the Financial Aid office run and hide. ["Make It Rain (Other People’s Money)"]

7/8 - UF Girls are shocked that men would rank them against each other. Secretly they're checking the list looking for their name. ["Lessons Learned From #TTQ"]

Lessons Learned From #TTQ

Damn. The UF Black Internets is going crazy. Ninjas are getting technological all of a sudden. It has only been 2 weeks into Summer B, and we already have had 3 cyberspace phenomenons. We blame Black People Twitter. It’s not safe out here White People; we’re coming for everything you hold dear. Techno Tuesdays, Penny Thursdays, and now the Web. “We’re In Yo Internetz, Doing Ninja Shit”. But through all this nonsense, anonymous grandstanding, and entertainment more satisfying than anything on BET or VH1, we have learned a few things. Most notably, ninjas love lists, and ninjas love awards.

Make It Rain (Other People’s Money)

Financial Aid has just been posted for most of The Black Community. It might as well be Christmas out here. Shelves in the Oak’s Mall have been picked clean, Black People are out making bad financial decisions, and Elite is about to rake in everyone’s money with “Weekend Ballers” who will be lavishing in their “Once-A-Semester” V.I.P trip. Expect to see a lot of unknown faces in the Skip Line, Greeks. But don’t worry; they’ll be back in the other line with the locals next week.

The Show Must Go On…and On..and On. #OAS

(That's an Oasis. Just go with it...)

Was this the best OAS Show UF has hosted in a while? Probably. Was it the longest OAS show ever? Most definitely. We didn't even make it through the whole show. This year, OAS went full force with a strong NPHC showing, new freshman “Talent”, and a grown man crying. It was quite the spectacle. The amount of Black People at the event was shocking. Where did they all come from?  It’s something that hasn't been seen since Cantina Fridays. Shout out to the integrated crowd too. It was looking like a GAP commercial in there.

The Week That Was – Welcome to Summer B!

Welcome back to the grind, The Black Community. It’s only been a week since the start of Summer B, but already we are wildin’ like it’s the end of the world. In case you missed anything, let’s look back at the events that made this past week memorable.

6/26 – Our little “The Set Is Dead” Project is born. Black People go crazy. ["The Set Is Dead"]

6/26 – The Freshmen may have robbed a few banks prior to entering UF. ["Incoming Freshmen Report" Yep, They Hood!]

6/27 – We remember House Parties, The End of The World Jam and Status Fridays. ["The Summer A Recap"]

6/28 – The Black Community Discovers Planking and We have a 30 minute Twitter Award Show. ["Summer B Predictions"]

6/29 – Black People Invade Techno Tuesday. White People strike back by charging a cover price. ["Were You There? Techno Tuesdays"]

6/30 – We Run Down each Summer Week with our outlandish (But True!!) predictions. ["The Greek Week Summer Round-Up"]

7/1 – We discuss where you can find your long lost friend or co-worker. Cantina Fridays. ["Were You There? Cantina Fridays"]

Were You There? Cantina Fridays

Cantina 101 and Cantina Fridays are The Black Community’s pride and glory. We kicked the white people out of their own home and claimed that area in back in the name of Black Community. It’s a move that hasn’t been seen since the Pilgrims and Indians. And with 3 for 1 drinks on deck, you can solve any problems that you may have accumulated during the week. With the advent of financial aid (Praise Black Jesus…!), free time, and dumb freshmen girls, Cantina Fridays will keep rolling on throughout the summer.