Sunday, June 26, 2011

Incoming Freshman Report. Yep, They Hood.


Summer B is right around the corner, and its that time to scope them out and see what we are about to take in to the Black Community. The initial impression: they all came from Duval. Yeah, DDDDuuuVVVAALL! You can’t even walk in that city alone after 12 noon. It looks like UF has added some partner schools to its list in order to look “more diverse”, and boy have they succeeded. I wouldn’t be surprised if UF’s plan was to get the students they know will be here for 6 years so they can rake in more money. You know Bright Futures only covers a Burrito Bowl from Chipotle now.

As evidenced by the few house parties and Oasis events, these kids clearly don’t have any inhibitions or care for social judgement. The Venue will welcome them with open arms. The type of activities girls are scared to do when AKA’s and Deltas are in the vicinity, these freshmen girls were doing full force. The freshmen guys are a mix of Waka Flocka and Chris Brown. Half of them will end up Beenie Wigglin’ in the club, the other half can’t even construct a compound sentence. Yeah buhlee dat cuz.

These students will have an impact like no other on the Black Community. They might even bring the set back. Just kidding. House parties should be more live barring nobody gets shot or anything like that. These ratchet new freshmen are already open to corruption. They’re already getting preyed on at Oasis events, taking pictures with Ques, and having “Clap Them Thighs” Competitions. You know what that means. The Oasis Talent show will be a feeding ground come next week. Better get you a dumb freshman before they figure out what it means to “Just Chill”.

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