Were You There? Cantina Fridays

Cantina 101 and Cantina Fridays are The Black Community’s pride and glory. We kicked the white people out of their own home and claimed that area in back in the name of Black Community. It’s a move that hasn’t been seen since the Pilgrims and Indians. And with 3 for 1 drinks on deck, you can solve any problems that you may have accumulated during the week. With the advent of financial aid (Praise Black Jesus…!), free time, and dumb freshmen girls, Cantina Fridays will keep rolling on throughout the summer.

Cantina Fridays is the “Black Community Community Center”. You can find everyone there. People that have long since been forgotten show up fresh faced and ready for fade like they haven’t been living under a rock for the past week. It’s just like when the first time you see your homegirl/homeboy in class is on exam day. Of course you have to hit them with that “I didn’t know you were in this class!” line. Cantina is just like that. Cantina Friday’s brings out everybody. Your organizational members that couldn’t make that meeting this week?  At Cantina. Those ninjas who are STILL in Gainesville but don’t come on campus due to fear of shame? At Cantina. And that girl you were trying to smash, who said “no” because she “had to study”? She’s at Cantina too. Don’t be fooled.

It's a wonder that the bar owners haven't done much to quell the black crowd that accumulates every Friday. Techno Tuesdays could learn from this. They must have found out, just like McDonald's, that black people money is good. It's only a matter of time before Cantina too has radio advertisements starring Jerome and LaQuantaivius discussing their plans to go to Cantina after they pay their child support. And good job on The Black Community for being on their best behavior. Even with that amount of fade and Black People, nobody has been shot, no fights have been started, and no weave (No, that's my REAL hair...) has been pulled out. We're actually making a good impression on the White People. This could be a new beginning in race relations! As long as they keep playing Taylor Swift as ambient music we should be good. We wouldn't want them playing "Fuck Dem Other Niggas", lest we show our TRUE colors. That would set us back about 50 years.

The main draw of Cantina Friday’s is the mid-day fade. Somewhere in our grand scheme of UF Black History, some wise soul discovered that it’s actually more fun to be faded at 12 noon than it actually is to go to class. Priorities, people! The Black Community also discovered this amazing fact, and now we have ninjas at Cantina getting faded before they’ve even had breakfast. The mid-day fade, added to the “lite” social gatherings on the The Set on Friday (Face it. The Set Is Dead…) creates a deadly combination that will send GPAs plummeting quicker than our Black Social Environment. Damn. Because Cantina Friday’s happens so early in the day, it gives you the perfect opportunity to get faded, go home, throw up, and then get freshened up to go to Status to do it all over again. It’s like a 2 for 1 death deal.