Pregame Report: Summer B Predicitions

Summer B is upon us, Black Community! This is the time of the year that we’ve all been waiting for. Six weeks full of bad decisions, parties, fade, Greeks, sketch “afterparties”, hurt feelings and occasionally schoolwork that are the best introduction to the UF Black Culture anyone could ask for. Bump a Preview Orientation. One day into Summer B, and we are already wildin' out. Somewhere Bernie “The Arch Nemesis” Machen is trembling in his BMW. Before we roll into Summer B, let’s make some predictions as to how the semester will go. We’ll come back at the end of the semester to see if we got anything wrong (we wont...) and do a recap of the semester as a whole.

One day into the semester and we already have two gigantic issues. Planking and Black People Twitter. Of course the two would be related. All day yesterday people were getting sucked into the craze. It was hilarious constantly seeing followers on Twitter saying “Huh, what’s all this planking I’m seeing on my TL??? Ya’ll lame!”, then two minutes later seeing them post pictures of themselves hanging off of trashcans and tables. Expect this to take off on campus. People will be planking on the Bull Gator and on top of the O’Connell center soon. You’d be real if you planked on the Century Tower. Better yet, have that statue of Tebow hold you like a football. It’s only a matter of time before they ban Black Folks from planking on campus though. We can’t ever have nothing! UPD will have you planking on the ground with your arms behind your back if you’re not careful. Also watch out for the big girls trying to plank and end up looking like beached whales.

Black People Twitter went off with a hitch late last night with the creation of @UFSuperlatives. With a lifespan of about 1 hour, the account posted a list of awards for the Black Community. Obviously the list was biased and poorly researched. Who wrote that trash? Half of the girls listed as the #BaddestUnderFiveFeet were over the 5 feet cutoff point. They could have at least measured them while they were being creepy and posting their names on the internet.  A better plan would be to actually poll the Black Community for these categories. Could we get some Democracy in the Black Community? I mean Obama IS president. I’d bet all the Black Folks would go out and vote for that! Are you listening SG? The bigger problem that caused a ruckus was the anonymity of the account. Hey, I thought WE were the authority in Anonymous Black Culture Commentary? Swag Jackers. Despite the backlash received, expect to see more of this throughout the summer, although most will fail and end up going the way of @UFGossipGirl. Epic Fail.

Summer B should be exciting as we move on through the semester. What are your impressions on the future of the Semester? Leave your comments below, we’re trying to make this shit interactive.