Revolution Round 2

What's up, The Black Community? Where y'all been? It's almost time for the fall semester, and Summer B came and went while nobody noticed. It was the most barren Summer B of all time, OF ALL TIME KANYE. Shit, even The Set Is Dead was dead for a while. Maybe ninjas were actually studying this Summer B. Nah, never that. 8 Year Graduation plan for life! We were just about to write about how uneventful Summer B was this year, when The Black Community intervened earlier this week with this newfound Twitter Revolution. We weren't even going to touch this one. We were once a Twitter Philosopher for a day and organized a Revolution to revive The Set, and we all remember how that went. Epic Fail. It wasn't one of our proudest moments.

Bye Bye Bernie

In what could be the greatest news to ever hit The Black Community, Bernie “Racked Up Shawty” Machen has announced that he will retire in 2013. Darth Vader himself is chucking the deuces on UF and all that leadership nonsense to swim through the pools of money he’s guaranteed in pension. No Scrooge McDuck. This is some next level shit. It's such an important event we had to interrupt our vacation of sitting on the couch to come back and write a post on it.

Feeling Groggy

White People can’t have nothing anymore, The Black Community. What were once safe havens from Murder, Ratchetness, random Cat Daddy-ing, and all the other things Black People bring with them are now right at White People’s doorstep. We have invaded Grog House and there is nothing White People can do about it. Unless they enforce a dress code.

Probate Season Vol. 2

Probate Season is over, The Black Community, and all our friends have come back from their mysterious disappearance. We come off one of the busiest probate seasons in recent history (at least since we’ve been here; our History Keepers from 2006 can probably recall another time from “the good ole days..”), and now everybody is Greek. With the prospect of attending Probates, The Black Community finally shows up in attendance to something since our failed revolution last month. The Set Is Still Dead folks, but Probate Season is alive! 

Apocalypse

It’s 2012, The Black Community, meaning that the Florida Blue Key Illuminati is hastening their plans to destroy the world in December. They’ll destroy UF piece by piece before finally turning their eyes to The Black Community. But they don’t need much help. The Black Community is already heading towards Armageddon. Bernie “The Finance Furher” Machen and his SS Dean of Student’s office looms over the campus, ready to expel any Black Person that steps out of line. BSU gets less money every year, at least that's what UNITE tells us when they try to brainwash us into voting for them. Nevermind constantly having Black People in executive positions. Finally, The freshman class gets lamer by the decade, making UF the most boring place to live since The Polos. This could be the end of The Black Community as we know it.

Party Near The Pool

It’s the Springtime, The Black Community, and it’s getting warm enough that ninjas can get musky when they step outside. Thus, the pre-requisites for throwing a pool party are met. Unfortunately, they come during March, long after everyone has fallen off their New Year’s Resolution of working out for 1 week.

BHM Trends (That Should Die)

For some reason this year, The Black Community, we used Black History Month as a time to make complete fools of ourselves. Today marks the end of one of the most painful Black History Months in recent history. It seemed like Black Folks were losing every day. You’d log on to Black People Twitter and see a black icon like Whitney Houston or the Pimp that invented Soul Train had passed away. Or some hoodrats were fighting over some McNuggets at your local burger joint. Or a Black Pornstar had contracted AIDS. (R.I.P. Pinky...) World Star Hip Hop had record views this month. The rest of the world could only look on in disgust. Below are some trends that made us give a big “SMH!” to The Black Community.