Feeling Groggy

White People can’t have nothing anymore, The Black Community. What were once safe havens from Murder, Ratchetness, random Cat Daddy-ing, and all the other things Black People bring with them are now right at White People’s doorstep. We have invaded Grog House and there is nothing White People can do about it. Unless they enforce a dress code.

We’ve seen it before with other venues. Cantina and Techno Tuesdays used to look like a Mitt Romney convention before some young guy discovered these places had free cover and great drink specials. And that’s all you really need to satisfy The Black Community. We started flooding Grog House looking for a new place where none of our Black Community would be, and wouldn’t you know it, they were looking for the same thing.

Most Black People hadn’t even heard of Grog House until a few weeks ago. It was just another establishment in that overpriced area people pass to go spend 8$ at Chipotle. Who really wants to buy a 5$ piece of bread and some lettuce from Pita Pit? Certainly not someone who’s only income is Financial Aid. Grog is situated right in-between Jimmy Johns and that shady place where they sell pizza from an alley. That pizza must be good as hell because drunk White People risk their lives by creating a line that extends halfway into University Avenue. It’s to die for.

The prospect of All You Can Drink until 1am is what really lures people to the bar, because it’s not even that exciting of a place. There is no Greek Skip Line, and you basically have to climb up Mt. Everest to even get in the bar. Once inside, you realize this isn’t really STATUS or even Cantina. There is no dance floor, and definitely no seating. It’s just a big open space with people standing around drinking. You know, a bar. We aren’t used to that. People are standing around talking to each other, and who needs personal interaction when we’ve got a slowly dying Facebook and Black People Twitter? You can’t even get your dance on, so to speak. The DJ is playing the Top-40 Hits that White People listen to so they can claim diversity, and songs from our elementary school days. Tricking a girl into having sex is difficult when Chingy is playing. Then, at the end of the night, you face the most dangerous obstacle in life, descending the longest flight of stairs ever while completely drunk. Good luck staying alive. Those looking to make their first Worldstar Video should wait at the bottom of the stairs with a camera.

The White People look so uncomfortable with the new influx of The Black Community integrating into their hangout. It’s like the 1960s all over again. There used to only be a few Gainesville Locals roaming the place to creep on Taylor and Kelsey. Now Grog is so damn diverse it looks like a Target commercial. Hell, even the multi-cultural crowd is in there, whispering in Spanish how they wish Black People never found this place.

It’s only a matter of time before Grog House turns into a full-fledged Black Community hangout spot. The White People are rushing out of there by the masses. Of course they are just going to go across the street to The Swamp, where no Black Person would ever dare enter. The most repelling factor being that you have wear Dockers and a Polo button-up to gain entry. Grog House is that place to enjoy alcohol during the week with The Black Community without having to listen to all that pesky Caribbean music. Will Grog follow in Cantina’s footsteps and revel in all the money The Black Community throws at them, or pull a Techno Tuesday and create a ridiculous cover charge and outlaw dreadlocks, effectively banning all Black People? Only time will tell.