Revolution Round 2

What's up, The Black Community? Where y'all been? It's almost time for the fall semester, and Summer B came and went while nobody noticed. It was the most barren Summer B of all time, OF ALL TIME KANYE. Shit, even The Set Is Dead was dead for a while. Maybe ninjas were actually studying this Summer B. Nah, never that. 8 Year Graduation plan for life! We were just about to write about how uneventful Summer B was this year, when The Black Community intervened earlier this week with this newfound Twitter Revolution. We weren't even going to touch this one. We were once a Twitter Philosopher for a day and organized a Revolution to revive The Set, and we all remember how that went. Epic Fail. It wasn't one of our proudest moments.

Summer B this year was a completely different change from the Summer of 2005, when we first entered UF. Summer B is traditionally that time of low moral standards and nonstop entertainment. There are parties every day, and new Freshman girls are making a name for themselves in dark bedrooms. Summer B is where legends are made. No studying is required and ELITE throws a pool party at the same damn apartment complex every weekend. Children barely old enough to vote are introduced to alcohol and the college way of life. Surviving Summer B is a rite of passage in The Black Community.

But this Summer B was different. There was hardly anything going, except for the ongoing invasion of the White Man's Grog House. Hell, even the Greeks were gone, although they couldn't help it. Last year we did a big huge post about each Greek Week during the summer, this year we couldn't even scrape up enough events to create one week. The only thing that really happened was Blue & White, and that's only fun if you enjoy interrupting family reunions.

Poor #UF16. They weren't exposed to all the venereal diseases and accidental pregnancies that come with entering UF for the first Summer. Nobody paid them any mind. The only reason people would use #UF16 is for free promotion and commotion, the same way shouting out DUVAL! at a party gets someone shot. Right now they live without all the jadedness of the upperclassmen. Studying and Achievement is all they know, and those are the least important values in The Black Community. They are ignorant to the debauchery of signature parties and social events. Poor #UF15 is going on two years of not knowing what The Black Community used to be, suffering through last year with the crucifixion of the Greek System. Last year they got only 1 of the Big 3 events, Champagne Jam, but no Jouvert or Ape Escape. Without parties in college comes studying, and ninjas ain't trying to graduate in 4 years.  Nothing was going on this Summer B with the absence of the Greeks. And when there is an absence in the community, something must fill that void. In steps ELITE.

This all came to a head through of course, through Black People Twitter. One of Sigmas found out that ELITE was throwing a party using the recycled name of some Sigma Party. ELITE must of figured that they could use that name and nobody would catch on, because who cares it's just a name, and because it's just another generic party in STATUS, but little did ELITE know that the Sigmas had a patent pending on that name, and you don't mess with niggas' patents. It's like touching a Black Girl's hair, it's just something you don't do.

Then came a gigantic rant about how ELITE is destroying the club party game, and how the monopoly the Greeks once had on Downtown was compromised. #GreekProblems. But of course, as is the result of any rant coming from The Black Community, it spirals into how whatever current issue killed The Black Community, and The Set was a casualty. Greeks everywhere came out in approval, well because they had to, creating one giant Greek circle-jerk.

Supposedly the point of all this was that Greeks were known for throwing their own parties, and now they are folding themselves into a bigger organization for that easy cash money. And everybody knows only paper folds, and Greeks hate being compared to a piece of paper, for whatever reason. From a Greek standpoint, working with ELITE is akin to sleeping with the enemy and directly cutting into one's profits. And you don't mess with ninjas money. Go ask the Financial Aid Department.

ELITE isn't an adversary to The Black Community, only the Greeks. It's competition. We hate to defend ELITE, but only because we can't get in the Greek Skip Line. The Black Community was losing, and a scapegoat was needed. ELITE found out, just like the Jews did, that the people with the money get the blame. ELITE has just as much claim to the money in ninja's pockets as Greeks do. People really don't really care who is throwing a party as long as the music is good, and they can get drunk for cheap. Us regular people can't get into the Greek Skip Line at either a Greek or ELITE party, so there is no difference to us. There is nothing the Greeks are offering with their parties that ELITE isn't, except the promise of free entry until midnight, and only then if you happen to be at the front of the line when they open the doors at 11:55. What ELITE has is reliability and consistency; that is, constantly being at STATUS. They have the better business plan, and The Black community is showing support with their wallets.

With the absence of the Greeks, ELITE is raking in money quicker than financial aid can give it out. Even Bernie "Pension Plan" Machen is kinda jealous. He might send a rant out next. ELITE is beating the Greeks at their own game. ELITE has perfected promotion in the form of 600 Facebook Event invitations every day. Apparently the deals they are cutting with Greek Organizations are either profitable or convenient, because the Greeks keep throwing parties with them. It's some sort of symbiotic relationship like Venom in that godawful Spiderman 3 movie. Now the Greeks are walking around all emo like Peter Parker as ELITE Venom takes all their glory. If the Greeks can't or don't deliver the parties that are important to The Black Community, ELITE will. ELITE isn't killing The Set, they've never even set foot on The Set, because they're always at STAUS. They might be killing downtown though, but that's another story.

Finally a call to arms was made to get The Set back from whatever entity was killing it this time. The Black Community better get on that dancing White Boy in pink booty shorts. He's the real threat. Of course, The Black Community isn't primarily as dependent on parties as Greeks are, so everybody Non-Greek is focused on other things that really matter, such as supporting events by BSU. Which is really the way to go, getting The Black Community energized about The Black Community, rather than stressing about who throws the best parties. Lord knows The Set Is Dead only because nobody cares about The Black Community, not because The Black Community is at ELITE parties downtown.

The Black Community can look forward to constantly being in a rebuilding year. We're like the Miami Dolphins in that regard. As we've preached before here at TSID, the minority of Greeks do no solely determine the health of The Black Community, the Black People do. If the Greeks are losing at throwing parties, that's something they have to figure out themselves. It's easy to point at something as a problem, but The Black Community will have to come together to re-energize The Black Community to thriving success, as it was back in 2003, or so say those old ninjas that still haven't graduated yet.