Celeb Concert Series

This past weekend the almost famous Miguel stopped by UF to lay flowery sprinkle laced angel whispers into our ears. As soon as word spread that Sammy Davis Jr., Jr. would be bringing his Dominican "Laid to the Gawds" tresses to the Gator Nation panties started dropping. A few boxers too. But we won't get into that. In addition to hosting two afterparties at the same damn time, the grown up version of Little Richie on Family Matters had all of UF in a tizzy.

Celebs doing concerts at UF is the hot new thing, in a semester where all the Greeks have disappeared and The Black Community is holding a revolt against Downtown Gainesville. You can only rename The Venue so many times before people catch on. We are still holding on to our memories of ninjas dying and goon celebrations once held there. Concerts might be the only thing we have left to move The Black Community out of this "Occupy Library West" movement we are currently experiencing. Bernie "Adorn My Salary" Machen is about to be out of here, so there is no real need to stress about grades anymore.

This semester alone we have had some Ex-Stand Up Comedian turned Unknown Internet Rapper and his Posse show up at UF, and we're sure BSU is cooking up something nice for the annual Black History Month Concert in February. Historically we have had Plies come an donate some bullets to the Alachua County Residents, Drake before he started bathing in baby tears, and Wale, J.Cole, and that bald ninja from Atlanta who plays the guitar.

The real reason so many in The Black Community get worked up over these concerts is because of Shone Tendencies. Girls hear someone with a few thousand Twitter followers is about to show up on campus and The Thirst rises to legendary levels. While on The Set, mourning it's death, we literally heard a group of girls have a contest to see who would have sex with Miguel first. Bonus points if he actually responded to your texts the next day. Regardless of the fact that Janelle Monae's twin brother was probably looking at the men in audience, those are some great ambitions. You can't fault these Shones for dreaming.

Those Shone Ambitions may be the reason why entertainers are so enthusiastic about coming to UF. The Thirst compels Shones to hurl their vaginas at anything. During the night, we could have sworn we saw chicks check in at Miguel's Hotel Room on Foursquare. And there probably were a few tweets about waking up next to a fun-sized R&B singer, before people realized it was Sunday and they needed to delete those Tweets and replace them with "Giving Him all the glory!". We won't tell though.

If girls, and maybe a few guys (#Pause) keep these entertainers entertained, so the speak, UF and The Black Community could keep bringing in bigger and better celebrities, so we could actually get an artist here that we like. Everybody would win. Miguel was the first step, now y'all ladies keep staying loose for the benefit of The Black Community, and we can have a Jay-Z & Beyonce concert someday.