Vote Or Die

We just can't get away from this voting thing, The Black Community. We just got finished with Student Government elections, the Presidential Election is in full swing, and with Soulfest around the corner, The Black Community is faced with the most important of all elections, BSU Homecoming Court.

Regardless of what Fox News tells you, Black People love to vote. It's just that our priorities are different. We don't make such a big deal over the Presidential election, because politics are confusing, and also boring. Besides, most of us already know we are voting for Obama anyway, except those Black outcasts in The Plaza of The Americas that we don't claim anyway. No amount of Mitt Romney lying is going to change that. Check the facts, Candy. 

As long as we get to keep our Financial Aid and Food Stamps, we straight. We in The Black Community will get hype to vote for things that actually matter to us, like making sure the Black contestant wins on The Voice, or crowning one of those hoodrats from Atlanta the "Most Ratchet". Ain't nobody got time for all that economy and foreign policy talk. The Black Community is focused on things that actually relate to US.

BSU Homecoming brings back all the torture of the SG Election, but without any of the Florida Blue Key Illuminati influence. This time it is grassroots, run by the people for the people. You don't have to worry about Chad and Stacy ignoring you as you walk past polling stations, while at the same time promising The Black Community that BSU will get a larger chunk of the Student Budget this year. Check the facts, Candy.

With BSU Homecoming, there is all the competition of a Presidential Race, but it is just more fun. Because the candidates are strictly running on popularity, and not anything important, it allows for more people to be deeply invested. The Black Community doesn't have to decipher rhetoric about China or unemployment rates, and instead can focus on more important things, like who takes the best pictures, or who is the best at color matching their outfit. These things matter.

Throughout the election season, we'll get to see the same election techniques that real politicians use, but transformed for The Black Community. For example, just like those annoying Obama campaign ads keep interrupting our episodes of Real Housewives, Black People Twitter will be flooded with advertisements for the homecoming candidates getting in the way of what we really want to see, tweets from Lil Duval, or fake inspirational quotes from Rev Run, who tweets live from his bathtub. Or so he would have us believe. It's just like real life. At least the advertising will cover up the new baby announcements on Facebook from our friends that weren't so lucky to make it to college. Additionally, people who have never talked to you in their life will try to act like they care about you to secure your vote. They better get some tips from Romney, he has that skill on lock.

The BSU Homecoming Court race should be rather close this year, with a good mix of Greeks and prominent individuals from various Student Organizations. It will be interesting to see how the candidates secure votes in The Black Community. Some of the candidates even have full-fledged campaign teams, aka their "besties" on Facebook and Twitter. Instagram may become more annoying than Throwback Thursday when people post pictures of their struggle childhood. Somebody should team up with ELITE to let in anybody that votes from them free entry until Midnight, even though they won't open the doors until 11:55. LOL. Hopefully nobody pulls a FAMU and starts "Bustin' it open for America" to secure votes. Lawd.

The most entertaining event will be tomorrow, where The Black Community is given the chance to meet the potential candidates. It should be interesting to see how the candidates will sell themselves, since they can't promise to do anything of benefit should they win. Votes will be gained strictly on personality, and in large part, The Thirst. Perhaps the most convincing thing to do would be to give out free Fried Chicken on The Set. Nobody steal that idea.

The weeks leading up to the presentation of the BSU Homecoming Court should see The Black Community mobilized like never before. With this much effort, we could have one of the candidates elected into Student Government to gain some positive action for The Black Community. But...maybe later. It is important to have excitement in The Black Community because this is what brings us together. So, Vote or Die.