Tragedy Pt.2 - Black & Blue Keys

Yesterday we talked about the Tragedy that is the political system on campus. In a post so long that even our History professors would wince at, we described how the voting machine is a rigged system. The “Too Long, Didn’t Read” summary from yesterday is this: The SG Illuminati already has a set agenda, and it doesn't involve The Black Community. But in order to look diverse, and garner some easy votes, they tap some figureheads in order to get The Black Community mobilized into thinking we are working for a good cause. Throw a few Black Senators into the mix, and the perfect illusion is created. But at the top of the SG Illuminati food chain, are the masterminds behind the whole project, Florida Blue Key.

A Political Tragedy in 2 Parts

It’s voting season, The Black Community, and that means you’re about to be annoyed more than ever before. The only rival to be more annoying than campus politicians are those damn Humans vs. Zombie nerds. And even then, you get to see the dorks get randomly tackled in broad daylight. But with this voting season, you can't win. It’s now impossible to even walk to class without 4 campus politicians invading your personal space.

Twitter Philosophers

We’re dealing with an ever growing problem, The Black Community, Twitter Philosophers. Black People Twitter has always had its abundance of problems, but the amount of Armchair Aristotles is becoming a plague on the Twitter feed. It’s already bad enough filtering through the Strictly Sunday Worshippers and their once-a-week praise Tweets.

The Treatise of The Greeks

We keep on rolling, The Black Community, and we find ourselves in the midst of NPHC Week. Hundreds of potential hopefuls will attend all the events, convinced that they will be making a good showing to some organization, only to be slapped in the face with the unexpected: There is no Greek reward for attending the events! You’d be better off playing hide and go seek with interest meeting flyers around campus. One event, however, intrigues us “True Life I’m Greek: The Miseducation of Black Greekdom & This Title’s Too Long” Hosted by Lauryn Hill. We predict a heated debate, full of high emotions and weave throwing. Here’s our take on the event to come.

Salute Your Shones

It’s been a crazy 3-day weekend, The Black Community. We hope everyone had a great time making terrible alcohol-fueled decisions and clogging their arteries with Publix Fried Chicken. Arguably the best Fried Chicken in the world. THE WORLD. No Kanye West. We’re right at the start of the Football season, and that means a side hustle by selling tickets, and getting five shades darker in The Swamp as a drunk Chad and Lacey scream in our ears. As we come into the Football season we take a moment to give recognition to some of the real heroines of the era, the Football Shones.

Chuch!

Welcome back, The Black Community. It’s been two weeks into the semester, and everyone is settling back into the swing of things. Today we look at a topic near and dear to The Black Community, Chuch! It's the event we see flood social networking sites every Sunday, that one element that we all take and mold to our will, and unfortunately, the one object that is used so improperly, that the only response is a good strong SMH.