Tragedy Pt.2 - Black & Blue Keys

Yesterday we talked about the Tragedy that is the political system on campus. In a post so long that even our History professors would wince at, we described how the voting machine is a rigged system. The “Too Long, Didn’t Read” summary from yesterday is this: The SG Illuminati already has a set agenda, and it doesn't involve The Black Community. But in order to look diverse, and garner some easy votes, they tap some figureheads in order to get The Black Community mobilized into thinking we are working for a good cause. Throw a few Black Senators into the mix, and the perfect illusion is created. But at the top of the SG Illuminati food chain, are the masterminds behind the whole project, Florida Blue Key.

If anyone has ever heard of Florida Blue Key, congratulations, you might just be a part of the Illuminati’s plan, if not in the Illuminati yourself (they’re everywhere!). Florida Blue Key is that secret organization that UF and the Illuminati don't want you to know about. Their office on the 3rd Floor of the Reitz Union is harder to locate than the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter. We’ve never been able to access the office, but if one was to walk in there, we’re sure all the FBK members are wearing black cloaks and speaking to each other in ancient Greek or something. Their website claims that Florida Blue Key is the highest leadership honorary. But what the fuck are they leading? We struggle to name any programs that FBK runs out in the public eye. What are they hiding? There's something fishy going on here...!

The biggest farce in UF history is again, the political system. Uninformed students may think that the SG President runs the show over the student budget and student affairs, but in reality, Florida Blue Key tells HIM what to do. Homecoming? All overseen by FBK. The delegation of the Student Budget? FBK. The SG President is just a figurehead for the will of a couple of shadowy figures sitting at a round table upstairs in the Reitz. If the SG President were to fuck up somewhere in completing FBK’s agenda for UF, they would probably have him “disappear” forever, and throw his body in Lake Alice. The Alligators have to be fed somehow. It’s a mystery as to how many people have been digested in order to keep FBK’s operations a secret.

So how does this affect The Black Community?

As mentioned before, the agenda of SG and FBK has no concern for The Black Community. Going back to the SG Elections, all the positions and candidacies are already set up and handled months in advance. The whole voting and appointing system is a just big circle jerk. There is no chance for any new faces to come in and strive for change, FBK is just going to set-up one of their insiders to take the job. And so this trickles down into the positions that the average Black Community Member wants to participate in. Don’t think anyone is going to get any directorships of Soulfest or any other Homecoming event without the approval of the FBK Illuminati. Nevermind if you possess any real skill. And DON’T EVER believe you will become involved in SG if the Illuminati don’t want you to.

There is a group on campus even more dangerous than Florida Blue Key, and that is the insider Illuminati group known as The Black Keys. These are the selected few Black members of Florida Blue Key. The Black Keys will tell you they’re looking out for the goodwill of The Black Community, the same way terrorists will say suicide bombing is creating a better world free of Americans. So Florida Blue Key will handpick certain Black individuals that THEY see fit to run certain positions on campus, therefore excluding the remaining Black Community members from ever having a chance. “But it’s good for The Black Community though, because we are putting Black People into leadership positions!”. Except for all the other qualified individuals that were left out, duh. The whole process of getting into Florida Blue Key is based on this principle, that’s why they call it “Tapping”. Out of nowhere, the skies open up, and the Divine hand of Florida Blue Key will come reaching from the heavens to hand-choose a worthy member for salvation. It’s a page taken straight from those Aliens in Toy Story.

The whole problem with this system is that those qualified individuals that want to get involved in the community are never given a fair chance. All in the name of uplifting The Black Community. Even if those non-illuminati members are just trying to strengthen their resume, for the purposes of becoming Greek or joining the Illuminati itself, they are trampled by the system, controlled by the same individuals that were brainwashed into thinking they were helping The Black Community in the first place.