Battlefield: Gainesville

It’s not safe out here any more, The Black Community. Gainesville has turned into a warzone, and people are getting blasted left and right. Tensions and straight coonery have invaded the Gainesville streets. Maybe it's Football Team's win record. Maybe it’s the cold weather. People in Gainesville are now about that felony life. Forget wearing jackets and beanies, start wearing helmets and bulletproof vests.

3 Girls 1 Outlet

Smh, The Black Community, Smh. Where did we go wrong? Those students from a Duval County Partner School have started acting up again and have led us down the road to becoming a fully-fledged HBCU. All we need now is a decent Gator Band. No Nice Watch. When the library is no longer a safe place to study, The Black Community has a problem. We have to do better. It’s only a matter of time before the video ends up on Worldstar.

Post-Grad Opportunities

There’s a trend in The Black Community where after Graduation, everyone just likes to chill around Gainesville for a few years. We’ve said it before, Gainesville has a stronger gravitational pull than Jupiter. People can’t seem to leave Gainesville and UF; whether it be just completing school, or finding something to do with their life afterwards. They therefore have to resort to the classic post-graduation employment opportunities; the final chance before breaking down, filling out a paper application, and peeing in a cup when applying to Wal-Mart. Here are a few classic “Jobs” suitable for anyone in The Black Community.

The Relationship Problem

We come upon one of the most hotly debated topics ever to hit the campus, The Black Community. The only other rival to is the debate as to when The Set died. This is that miraculous topic that organizations reach for when they have no other ideas for programming. No other topic has created so much hate, hurt so many feelings, and created as many bitter women as the Relationship Issue.

At The Fe

Santa Fe is Gainesville’s most known, but unknown second school. Completely eclipsed by the greatness that is The University of Florida, Santa Fe is that school on the other side of town, completely segregated from us “Real College Students” over here on the “Good Side of Town”. It’s that mystery area that is only visited when organizations do community service. The students at Santa Fe are those legends that you hear about in The Black Community, but only ever see at Local Night on Saturdays.

Cuz It's Cold Outside

The Epitome of LaTrace "Sensitive Ninja" Brown.

It’s officially cold, The Black Community, and that means a shift in the Black mindstate. Once the weather becomes cooler, everything switches around. All the ratchedness calms down, and activities within The Black Community start to slow down a little. It's like we all realize that we're in college again. The rumor is that Black People don't like cold weather (except for Light Skinned folks), so let's see how the weather affects The Black Community.

We Are FAMUly!

Monday marked the 124^th Anniversary of Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, also known as FAMU, or “That School Where All the Black People Are”. FAMU is that school we always like to compare ourselves against when something goes bad here at the Good Ol’ U of F. “Gator Football team is 0-12? “Well at least we’re still better than FAMU”. The UF admissions committee reverts back to segregation as its student admission policy? “Well, that’s because we don’t want to end up like FAMU”. Naked pictures leak of the community’s favorite shone? “It’s still not worse than that FAMU Sextape, did you see that lacefront???” No matter what tragedy happens on the UF Campus, the consensus within The Black Community is that we will forever be better than FAMU. Which got us to thinking, what if UF was just like FAMU? That is, what if UF was composed of just The Black Community? *Shudders* Cue the ripples and fade to black.