Cuz It's Cold Outside

The Epitome of LaTrace "Sensitive Ninja" Brown.

It’s officially cold, The Black Community, and that means a shift in the Black mindstate. Once the weather becomes cooler, everything switches around. All the ratchedness calms down, and activities within The Black Community start to slow down a little. It's like we all realize that we're in college again. The rumor is that Black People don't like cold weather (except for Light Skinned folks), so let's see how the weather affects The Black Community.

Firstly, with the colder weather comes the requisite fashion change. Shones will cry as they are forced to cover up all the assets that made them popular in the first place, and Greeks will break out line jackets to ensure everyone knows what organization they represent. The exposure never stops. The great thing about this season is that everyone can be lazy in their wardrobe and nobody will notice. Remember, this isn't FAMU. This is that one time in the year where one can thrown on the same dirty jeans and musty jacket and call it a day. There’s bound to be one person that wears the same Gator Hoodie all the way from October to December like it ain’t no thang. Chalk it up to the weather. Try that in any other season and someone from FACES is sure to call you out. Females just be counting down the hours when they can break out their UGG boots and Leggings and wear them things repeatedly day after day, and trendy ninjas will be wearing that same black pea-coat. For some reason, throwing a shirt over some leggings is an acceptable outfit, nevermind the fact that your ass is out the entire day. And it will be an epidemic; every girl will be rocking UGGs in the winter just like Ninjas rock Jordans when Financial Aid drops.

The Fall also creates the great Male illusion known as “Cuddle Season”, also known as “I’m About To Trick Some Lonely Girls”. It’s the biggest farce to hit the campus since the SG Elections. Girls proclaiming they need a “Cuddle Buddy” for The Fall is the most acceptable way to say “Come Save Me!”. No ninja in his right mind will pass up on some easy play like that! So ninjas will put on their cable-knit sweaters and scarves, and hit females with that sensitive angle, and scoop 4 to 5  dumb girls in the process. The ironic part is, they’ll be using the same tried and true methods as before; Redbox, the Dollar Menu, and maybe even some Hot Chocolate to fit in with the theme. In the Summer, ladies are winning as men hurl themselves at women as they skimp around in Bikini’s and short shorts. However, Fall is where Men win; where every girl is looking for someone to take care of them, and men use reverse psychology to trick women into thinking they care about their thoughts and needs (LOL). Ninjas don't care either way, they would smash if a nuclear bomb just exploded outside their house. LaTrace “Sensitive Ninja” Brown has been waiting for this season all year long. He’ll try to subdue some girls with the promise of home cooked meals, which in reality, are just some recipes he saw on the Food Network. And dumb girls will rush to him, and listen to some songs he'll sing from an unreleased Erykah Badu Mixtape. He's so deep. This might be the only time of year where poetry, emotions, and acoustic guitars attract girls who wear weave and make-up.

The advent of the cold weather also means that the semester is halfway finished. Homecoming marks the halfway point in the school year, so this is where everyone wakes up and realizes that they might actually have to do some studying to pass their classes. This isn’t Summer B anymore. Expect to see lots of motivational “Twitter Philosopher” tweets as students realize that 4.0 GPA is so far gone. No Drake. So on Twitter you’ll see things like “The only one would can hold me back, is myself” (Damn! Got another 43% on this test!). “Either you run the day, or the day runs you”. (Gotta make sure I get home in time to see Jersey Shore!). The third Floor of Marston is about to be the new social hangout, forget The Set! (It’s Dead.) Don’t expect to get any work done while on that floor. The whole Black Community will be in there trying to keep warm, while the Light Skinned folks will be sitting outside trying to get a complexion like Mariah Carey. Is she even Black?    We've got another Sean Paul Mystery Ethnicity case on our hands. Club CIRCA is no better. They might even open up CIRCA on Saturday’s to compete with The Venue. It’s already just as noisy and plagued by people blasting the same terrible music.