Before we move forward into 2012, The Black Community, let’s take a look back at how we got here. 2011 was a great year for entertainment at the expense of others. People were making bad decisions and Black People Twitter and a newly introduced The Set Is Dead was there to cover it. We’ll start at the beginning of the year, June, when our beloved The Set Is Dead was born. The campus was silent, and The Set empty as always, when we decided to revive the beloved forum of The Black Community and bring it to the Internet.
June - The Beginning of the End
In June The Black Community was in full swing, enjoying the summer and substituting class schedules for entire days spent at Cantina. Nobody was studying and everyone was enjoying a full 7 day week filled with alcohol and bad decisions. We were channeling our inner FAMU. The health department no doubt saw a lot of work during the Summer.
June brought us our first look at the incoming freshman class who would go on to provide entertainment for The Black Community during the entire Fall Semester. UF incorporated a few more partner schools from Duval, bringing with it an influx a large group of loud and rowdy Freshmen. UF got a bit more ethnic as "Homeboys" "Homeboys" and "Cuhs" were determined to bring the questionable lifestyle of Duval to our peaceful UF.
Bernie Machen and Rick Perry collaborated to destroy any hopes of shopping sprees at Oaks Mall when they decided to once again cut Bright Futures disbursements. Currently with the refund money received from Bright Futures, one can have a nice lunch at Chipotle.
Techno Tuesdays was the move for people in The Black Community trying to get away from The Black Community. Black People were at 101 Downtown fist pumping and scaring all the white people away. By the end of Summer A, Techno Tuesdays was looking like The Venue, although without all the murders. The White People weren’t having that, and they retaliated with a cover charge, effectively guaranteeing The Black Community would never come back.
July - Internets Phenomenon
During the month of July The Black Community took to the internet in full force. We had just claimed Twitter in the name of Black People, and we were about to show to the world the things The Black Community does when bored. Planking became an epidemic, as Ninjas were laying on everything from vending machines to the Shone Table in front of the HUB. Unfortunately nobody was able to plank on the Century Tower. That would have been the game winner.
Hundreds of men joined in one tremendous circle jerk to discuss the baddest girls at UF. The “Titletown Queens” they called them. The discussion was more live than any forum or student organization meeting could get. Insecure girls were logging on every other hour to see if their names were mentioned. Girls that were mentioned in the post had their heads grow to an enormous size as they received an entitled sense of mind only to be rivaled by Greekdom. Nobody has been back to that website since.
August - Back To School
In August The Black Community was preparing to move back into Gainesville and do some actual studying as the fall semester rolled back around. We discussed the various living arrangements in Gainesville, noting that Lexington Crossing had officially turned in Section 8 housing, and that Campus Lodge would be the perfect place to commit a hate crime against The Black Community, seeing as how EVERYBODY lives there. Turned out we were wrong, Cabana Beach would be the murder capital of Gainesvillve apartments.
READ: Moving Days
The beginning of the semester brought with it the usual Freshmen sightings on the first day, and this year was the most exciting as all the Freshmen were straight from Duval. Dingy Tall Tees were everywhere. Lacefronts could be spotted from a mile away. Guys were walking around with U.S. Polo ASSN acting like they were “Real Ninjas”. We even saw a Rollie Backpack those nerds in High School used to tote around.
September - Political Tragedy
In September The Black Community found themselves in the middle of a political landscape. So did TSID with our political posts. It was a time where The Black Community finally mattered all of a sudden, as the political machines harbored us to get our vote, and completely forgot us once the election was over. The Florida Blue Key Illuminati was in the background in their hooded cloaks, planting Black Candidates to trick us into voting for “diversity”. The FBK Illuminati’s scheme went according to plan, the candidates and political party they wanted got elected, and The Black Community is still waiting on the benefits they promised us. Our 40 acres and a mule is more likely to arrive first.
Then we went after the problems in the Greek System, discussing the relationship between the Greeks and the Non-Greeks on campus. The Greeks depend heavily on the Non-Greeks for support, but won't ever admit it, once that entitlement becomes fully ingrained in their heads. We talked about how Non-Greeks give Greeks a celebrity status by idolizing them, and then turn around and complain that the Greeks are "unapproachable". Oops. This post generated tons of discussion as some Greeks flooded the comments section to assert saltyness on Non-Greeks and affirm the arrogant entitlement that we had just written about. Lol, Irony.
Finally, we lived out the dream of every UF Student, to expose the horrors of attending a school comprised completely of The Black Community. And boy what a nightmare it was. Having to pledge to join Gospel Choir and defending your self-esteem by going to class in nightclub attire were just a few tragedies we outlined. We had a field day with this one.
READ: We Are FAMUly!
October - Marston Madness
October brought to us the most popular post on The Set Is Dead. “3 Girls 1 Outlet”. Nobody can forget “Marston Madness”, when those two girls beat up that poor little White Girl over a power outlet so they could check Media Take Out. The entire The Black Community was up in arms, and people were defending their power outlets with their lives. Bring an extension cord hoe, and it won’t be no problems.
READ: 3 Girls 1 Outlet
November - Probate & Murder Season
November was rather quiet, as all our friends were out pledging, and the rest of our friends were out kissing ass in order to pledge in the future. The Kappas and Iotas had probates, and the Sigmas had a Waka Flocka Concert. This month we started seeing our Gainesville Locals exercise their use of the 2nd Amendment rights. There was a shooting in Cabana Beach, terrifying all the Kristen’s and Chad’s in the area. Then there were two shootings downtown, with each of course being after some locals got done making bad decisions at STATUS. Those locals should really stop stepping on each other’s Nikes. Gainesville would be a more peaceful place.
READ: Battlefield: Gainesville
READ: Probate Season
December - The Bloody End
Finally, December was the bloodiest month of the year as the Gainesville Locals decided to bring the violence straight to the UF Campus. They even diversified their targets and started preying on the easiest, most helpless target there is; Drunk White Girls. Drunk White Girls were getting in cars with total strangers, not even noticing the number one sign that a person is up to no good; Jean Shorts. Ninjas started getting creative, attacking girls while wearing fashion masks. Maybe they were trying to frame the Greeks. Light skinned ninjas even started shooting at people, and everybody knows light skinned ninjas are harmless! See Drake. People were afraid to go to sleep at night, as UF was sending terrifying mass texts about a killer on the loose, at 3am. We even got composite sketches of the alleged criminals that could only be rivaled by those composite sketches of that Leprechaun in Alabama. Those Gainesville Locals were robbing students so their kids could have a good Christmas. It’s too bad the police had to show up and ruin all the fun. December was a bloody month, but thank God we in The Black Community got out safely. Chuch!
The Black Community, along with help from the Gainesville Locals kept The Black Community entertained in 2011. Through all the bad decisions, basicness, and pure ignorance we hope that 2012 will be just as entertaining. Here’s to a new year! Which posts were your favorite? Let us know below.
BOL...Ddddddduuuuuvvvvaaaaaaaallllllllllll
ReplyDelete"The Kappas and Iotas had probates, and the Sigmas had a Waka Flocka Concert."
ReplyDeleteBOL!