Undercover Brothers

In our post on “The Relationship Problem” there was a discussion in the comments section about Black Women choosing better men to solve the problem, as if that would ever happen. Anonymous left a comment saying “Yeah because we have soooo many options”. We took that to mean “There aren’t any more Athletes to choose from”. They certainly aren’t getting on the guys that live in Marston, if anyone even has the courage to walk in that library without fear of a black eye. So where have all the eligible black men gone? Women are framing this as if there was a Black Man shortage, and we believe them too, by the looks of The Set. Ask any woman where the good men are, and she’ll tell you they’re either in Tyler Perry movies or Gay.

The concept of “Undercover Brothers” is a hot button issue in The Black Community, but it’s all “some ol’ bullshit”, to quote the Gainesville Locals. The fear of someone you know being on the "D.L. Hughley" is indeed frightening. Certainly, no girl who has poured all her emotional investments into being wifed up by LaTrace “Sensitive Ninja” Brown for the past year wants to find out that he’d rather be smashing another hole. Pause. And no “Creeping on Girls in The Venue” straight guy wants to discover that his homeboy of his entire college career cares more about what LaDonterrius is wearing than what a shone is not wearing. It would ruin his whole image, he would never be able to go Greek. It's scary to think that these people are out there stealing all the good men, ladies; and making you look questionable, guys. No guy wants to have the thought of their homeboy trying their life after a drunken day at Cantina. *Shudders* The whole concept of "Ninjas in Disguise" is more terrifying than Paranormal Activity 3, which wasn't even that scary. The rumor is, is that they are out there, secretly, and have an underground network of Ru-Paul's Drag Race Marathons, and are a cult more secretive than the Florida Blue Key Illuminati.

The fact of the matter is, the whole concept of “Undercover Brothers” is an illusion created by salty Women who have given up all hope in finding a “Good Black Man”. It ranks right up there with Bigfoot. You’ve got to stop picking your boyfriends from STATUS on Fridays, ladies. Nobody is on the “DL”. It just doesn't make sense for The Gay Community. Being on the D.L. just isn't profitable. It’s like loose girls NOT going to shady “Invite-Only” afterparties. They’re only cheating themselves. Nowadays, it's acceptable to be gay. All the days of hate and ridicule are dwindling. Obama is President now. Lady Gaga is winning Grammys. Those days are over. Take a trip to Atlanta, and Interracial Hayden and Taariq are holding hands skipping while Unicorns dance and sensitive Wale songs play in the background. Talk about Ambition. It's either absolutely beautiful, or utterly disgusting. The choice is yours. Everybody is doing this "Go Gay" thing. Just look at Tyler Perry. Gay men live in their own magical world not worrying about the problems of scorned Black Women. They could care less about why the only men some girls attract are ones with at least two felonies and three children.

Everybody knows who the Gay men are on this campus. They aren’t hiding anything, because it would only be a detriment to their cause.The Gay men on this campus do a GREAT job of signifying to The Black Community that they are batting for the other team, with their cutoff jean capris, their complete wardrobe from the Forever 21 Men’s section, and their trademark dance, The Wig. The Gays on this campus are out and in full effect. No pun intended. They even be in Chuch! on Sundays, despite the irony. Maybe God changed his acceptance policy. Ask those elderly White Guys next time they try to shove a Bible down your throat. They have to do all that annoying obnoxious flamboyant stuff in order to draw attention to themselves. It's straight male repellent and a fellow gay male lure. It’s the same concept as dressing up to go sit on The Set on Fridays. We The Black Community know who’s gay on campus. We can easily point it out with the men that lack any bass WHATSOEVER in their voice. Say it wit ya chest! Or that hand thing they do when they cheer for somebody. You know what it looks like. The one where it looks like they're trying to give God a High-Five.

Women use the “Undercover Brothers” excuse to hide their anger when they fail at all attempts to find a guy dumb enough to wife them up and take them to Red Lobster. That’s how you know he really cares. Females use The Gays as excuses all the time. But The Gays aren’t going to spend their time holding hands with LaShaNiShaQueesha so they can benefit themselves. These men don't go gay to spite Black Women. They are happily living their lives without RoneshaNeeka. If women really wanted a guy that showed gay qualities, poetry nights would be as packed as Probate shows. LaTrace "Sensitive Ninja" Brown wouldn't exist. He wouldn't have to spend all his time watching YouTube in order to learn how to play guitar. Drake wouldn't have Trust Issues. The fact that these characters exist is because women want a ninja who can benchpress them rather than a ninja who knows the intricate workings of a sonnet. Girls really don't know what they want, and that's why all the vitriol comes out at Relationship Forums.