The PC Life

"All Free Everything!"

The White Community lives a sheltered life, not having to worry about diversity or ensuring Gator Growl will have an act that they can relate to. Most in The Black Community are oblivious as to how The White Community operates, being so enveloped with the problems in our community, what with having to bring a bodyguard with you the library now. We see our fellow fair-skinned students all over campus, in their leggings, sunglasses with the athletic strap, and those orange and blue raincoat type things, whatever they’re called. In order to claim diversity, one must understand the other communities surrounding them. This information is crucial if we The Black Community are to succeed at the PWI we call home. And to finally get Lil Wayne to perform at Gator Growl.

The PC/IFC Community is only a minority of the White folks that comprise the entire PWI, yet they have the most power, thus making them the most important White People on campus. Sorry, Plaza of The Americas Hippies. The result of this power is a combination of Illuminati, SG, and Florida Blue Key interactions. The PC/IFC Community control the SG Landscape. It's the power The Black Keys wished they had. Needless to say, the people in the PC/IFC Community don’t have any problems. PC/IFC members wake up and the sun is shining, birds are chirping, and everything smells like fresh lemon. They walk right by us smiling, as reputations are destroyed and explosions rock The Set. They are safe from all the creepy hobos and Black People downtown, sticking to their magical Mid-Town, where everybody looks like them. And they don't have to worry about getting shot in their apartment complex, as they live in elaborate Sorority House-Mansions which UPD patrols aggressively, as if it was the Garden of Eden. Their lives are practically worry free. 

Two of the biggest issues in The Black Community are money and what to wear, as evidenced by the madhouse Criser and the Oaks Mall becomes when Financial Aid Drops. In the PC culture, there are no such worries, because everything they wear is free. All one needs to survive in the PC world is a nice pair of Dockers and some Sperry’s. Your wardrobe is complete. White People be ballin' with their free sunglasses and free neon hats. Every event held by the PC/IFC community for some reason comes with a free shirt. You can tell what type of person someone is in The PC Community by just observing the shirts they wear. Do they have a multitude of Cook-Out and Alumni Weekend Shirts? Chronic Drinkers or Overeaters. Lots of Athletic event shirts? Gym Tan Bro. Nothing but Grab-A-Date shirts? Shone. It’s just that easy. Compare this to The Black Community where we first have to judge people by looking for Lacefronts, Coogi Shirts, and Du-Rags. Even then that still doesn’t reveal the true nature of the person. We in The Black Community can stand to learn from this. Think if every party at the Venue came with a free shirt. Some of us would have no problem picking out what to wear in the morning. It'd be easier to determine who has Herpes as well. Doing this we'd have lots of leftover money, which we could put to good use by investing into something. We could guarantee our children have mutual funds just like all the PC/IFC members do. That's why they all drive BMW's and we all ride RTS.

The PC/IFC Community operates on a whole other level than our cherished The Black Community, and this is where the confusion lies. The magical world of white sororities and fraternities is akin to a walled garden. Rather than having the Greeks be the celebrities and entertainment for the rest of the community, the IFC and PC just entertain each other. All PC/IFC events are held solely for their community only.  If you’re not Greek, you can’t participate. But no worries, because it’s just as easy to get in as it is to get out. There’s none of that epic research and ass-kissing required to join like in the NPHC. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if one was accepted into a sorority based solely on personality and an impressive resume! The NPHC would never have it. If one doesn't want to continue with the Greek way of life, because they "discovered themselves" at First Assembly or something, just stop paying the $2,000 a semester and your out. That money would be well served as tuition, or at the Oaks Mall. There's none of that pesky lifetime membership required like in the NPHC. One could be PC for a week if they wanted to.

With more than 40 chapters in the IFC/PC Community, there lays an intricate power structure to determine who the top house is. Unfortunately like in the NPHC, this cannot simply be determined by a step show (LOL). Ranking is based on a system so convoluted that it rivals the BCS in complexity. And why not, when each house is the size of a small football team. “Running The Yard” or whatever the PC Community calls it is based on a number of factors. “Hotness” of the members is the primary factor. Remember, all interactions are based within the PC/IFC Community. A house’s position in the “Tier System” determines their social standing. No organization wants to have a social with a bunch of ugly girls. Being paired with an “Ugly House” for a social or worse, HOMECOMING, is akin to kissing a shone on The Set, to put it into Black People terms. Everyone knows you’re losing. So sorority houses are ranked higher by the amount of members that "put out", and the ratio of STDs to House Members. White Frat houses are ranked by the number of hours they spend at Southwest Rec. Maybe it's not so different from the NPHC at all.

The rest of the factors to determine a house’s standing are a total mystery. Not even the PC/IFC Community knows what they are. They used to spend all their free time bashing each other to determine this on Juicy Campus, and then GetItGreek, before it was overtaken by spam robots. It was like The Set to them, only one could check it from their iPhone. In The Black Community there isn't enough time to discuss which organization is better than another. They'd just do a drive by on each other and keep it moving. The PC/IFC Community discusses factors such as which Fraternity only accepts KKK Legacy’s, and which Sorority accepts the most Jewish members. These are important issues to them.

The PC/IFC life is an interesting one. It's a prime example of how our little circle of 600 self-destroying Black People are not the only community on campus. People are actually living well not having to worry about how they look when they walk through The Set, or fighting others for leadership positions in organizations so they can become Greek later. It must be great when one's only struggle is determining what bar they want to visit at Midtown.