FISS Fiasco

Well the most coveted weekend in BHM brought lots of excitement to our little Titletown, and the energy left promptly with the last dumb girl who woke up next to some random Frat ninja at the Red Roof Inn the next morning, and then quickly went on her way. And just like those girls that woke up half-naked not knowing where they were, we felt the same way once FISS Weekend was over.

FISS is traditionally the biggest weekend in Florida. All the out-of-towners come in the see the show, all the old Greeks and Alumni come back to celebrate with us still here, and the ninjas that graduated 2 years ago, and somehow tragically still live in Gainesville aren't afraid to show their faces in public for a bit.

However this year, it's like everyone forgot FISS happened. Maybe it was the advertising, you know ninjas don't check their Facebook notifications like they used too, not with Promotion Groups sending ninjas 400 invites everyday to the same parties at the same clubs every week, albeit with different club names. Like we don't know the difference. Once in a while, we'd see something on Black People Twitter, but it probably got buried under endless amounts of tweets about how Tahiry was trifilin'. The Set Been Dead, and even though Set Fridays was probably the best idea ever, it didn't seem to have much impact.

Roll into the weekend. FX was transported to the O'Dome with the advantage of being able to accommodate much more people. That way they didn't have to worry about ninjas camping outside the Reitz for Neon Wristbands like they were Jordans. Ninjas used to murder each other for those damn wristbands just to be able to see chicks parade around on stage in lingerie. Ninjas would be selling those wristbands like hand-to-hand crack sales. 2 for $10, we got it on the low. However, that great idea of more seats was squashed with low turnout and the strange addition of singing white people between each scene. We here at TSID are all about diversity, but keep goofy white people out of my FX, please! Keep the hosts as ninjas who are too cool to graduate.

The FISS Fest was a more pleasant surprise,  and the new location at the Auditorium worked well. We thought the show was going to be a disaster when they had variety show acts come up before the Greeks. A ninja in an U.S. Polo Assn button up and some boat shoes is not an attractive rapper. Neither is the hot line "Ya'll like rap music?".  But Kunta Kente said "Ya'll need to clap", and we did. A high school step team came out an nearly put the UF Greeks to shame. Ya'll better start placing your draft picks on those girls. The Stroll competition came and went, and the real problem reared its ugly head, we don't have any more fraternities. The Sigmas were the only Frat stroll team and won by default. The Deltas won it for the Sororities.

On to FISS, the premier event. It was disheartening to walk into the O'Dome and see that thang emptier than a bih, to quote an Alachua County Resident. You would have thought all our Greeks had gotten kicked off the yard. Each section was bare, with just our few Greeks we have left stuck in the stands.

Surprisingly, most of the teams that came for FISS were from Florida, which makes sense with FISS being the Florida Invitational Step Show. But that still didn't bring the ratchets out. Shockingly, the Big Two Sororities were missing, and the rest of the Frats that performed didn't put up any competition for our Hometown Sigmas, who won handily. They were probably giving each other high-fives before they even stepped on stage. 6 out of 9 teams this year is a good percentage, for you math jerks, but only 2 teams really showed up. A Blue & White Sweep of the weekend.

The show was pretty sleepy, and was only salvaged by some cool nerd technology that put your tweets up on the Jumbotron. We got up there a few times, now we're famous. The hosts were Kosher and Phil of Youtube fame. Yeah, me neither. You might know them as the "She Ratchet" guys. Oh yeah, them! They came out and dropped some funnies, and somehow may have been the best set of hosts in FISS' long history. About 100 girls found out they were the side chick that night. YouTube breeds talent, surprisingly. Competing with Justin Beiber for video views takes hard work.

This was a down year for FISS. Judging by the amount of people in the O'Dome, BSU couldn't have stacked bread on that show, unless those "She Ratchet" ninjas ain't cost that much, you know, because they're only YouTube famous. This might be the signal that FISS either needs to get a complete overhaul or shut down shop, because this year was a light disappointment. Could this be the last FISS ever? We'll see if the Swamp Party will throw them ninjas some dollars next year, that is, if the Florida Blue Key Illuminati allows it. All the visitors have left, and now Gainesville is back to being the same boring Gainesville. Obviously  The Black Community was not hyped about FISS this year, and it shows. The Set Is Dead.