The Circle of Life(styles)

World AIDS day just passed, The Black Community, reminding us all about the dangers of reckless smashing. It was a motivating day of activities. There were wondrous awareness seminars full of big numbers and perplexing statistics. Ninjas were making a big spectacle of ensuring every girl in sight witnessed them reaching for gold wrapped condoms, as they stroked their small egos. Menacing employees from the Health Department had us convinced that sex is the most terrifying thing since the first time you watched The Exorcist. With these important factors in mind, we reflected on the impact of sex in our small community.

One of the biggest drawbacks to living in such a small The Black Community is that there aren't that many people to choose from. Salty women are nodding their heads in agreement already. But besides the fact that all the good men are “either taken or gay”, as they say, the total population of our community remains small when compared to the rest of UF. There are about 1000 of us compromising The Black Community, after counting out all the Black Hippies, Socially Challenged Folks, and the few that ran off to the IFC/PC to revel in all the benefits of tokenism. Sexual epidemics would ravage our small community with extreme swiftness. We aren't as lucky as FAMU to have such a large pool of people. Although to be fair, the sexual exploits of FAMU students are 4 times greater than the average student. We are crammed into this small The Black Community with each other, and nobody wants to extend the effort of accepting diversity.

Therefore, everybody is smashing everybody.

It’s impossible to determine who in The Black Community is infected with various, genital eating diseases. You could just walk down to the Health Department and see who is sitting in the lobby with a worried look on their face. But that would be too much work. Perhaps we should all carry around our testing results with us as we do our Gator 1. We here at TSID don’t usually deliver heartwarming inspirational messages; but it’s important to stay protected. It’s a small world out here in The Black Community. Everybody is connected. Because our community is so small, sexual partners get passed around like flyers on the Colonnade. Not to mention the associated diseases.

Our community is so tightly knit that the sexual activities taking place are like a circle. This guy smashes that girl, who smashed this guy, who smashed that girl, who smashed those two guys (probably a HUB camper..) who smashed this girl, who is the person you’re currently smashing. It’s a big circle, with Chlamydia somewhere in the middle. You could be about to do the "Giggity Giggity" and find out your partner has already pleased 5 of your friends. It’s a very complicated system, and that’s without even throwing The Gay and supposed “Down-Low” community in the mix. The links between each of us in The Black Community are so numerous, that everybody sitting on The Set on Fridays, if they did, would all have some sort of underlying connection. It would be interesting to see a flowchart of the sexual activities here at UF, with arrows displaying the flow of sexual contact between each person. For informational purposes only though. Obviously some people would have a lot of arrows pointing at them, but nobody would be an island.

Wrapping this all up (no pun intendend…) it’s important to consider the looseness that could be occurring on this campus. It’s probably not wise to try and get at those girls promoting that they have, and we quote “teh most fie pussy in Gainesville”. Or the ones touting their a new Beaux every other week, in the hopes that He may finally the one, and be dumb enough to wife her up. Your best bet is to just stay away from The HUB and The Venue.