Summer Greek Week Round-Up [BONUS!] Now With Extra Alpha!

Today marks the start of the Greek Summer Week explosion. The reason most of us are here for Summer B anyway. Don't plan to do anything productive from this week forward. You can focus on your grades again in the Fall. This year we are blessed to have a majority of the NPHC hosting events during the summer. And the Black Church says Amen. The first week should be interesting, if not a light clusterfuck, as 3 frats are having summer weeks at the same time. Black Community, start choosing where your loyalties lie. Prepare your livers, drop your boyfriend/girlfriend (you can hit em’ with that sympathy phone call afterwards…), and get ready for a rash of bad decisions, Summer B is here. With that said, let’s look at each of the summer weeks and present you with what to expect.

Were You There? Techno Tuesdays

Techno Tuesday’s used to be safe haven for white people. They could listen to their techno music, drink, and not have to worry about any of “us” coming in and ruining their fun. It was a perfect idea, something that might only be conceived in the mind of Ronald Regan. Unfortunately for these unsuspecting white folks, they forgot one key point. Black people were looking for the exact same thing. A magical night at a club with no Black People in sight? We’re all over that! Add on to that the magical words FREE COVER and the prospect of white girls on ecstasy and you have a Black Community more hyped for this event than Probate Shows, FISS, and Black History Month put together.

Pregame Report: Summer B Predicitions

Summer B is upon us, Black Community! This is the time of the year that we’ve all been waiting for. Six weeks full of bad decisions, parties, fade, Greeks, sketch “afterparties”, hurt feelings and occasionally schoolwork that are the best introduction to the UF Black Culture anyone could ask for. Bump a Preview Orientation. One day into Summer B, and we are already wildin' out. Somewhere Bernie “The Arch Nemesis” Machen is trembling in his BMW. Before we roll into Summer B, let’s make some predictions as to how the semester will go. We’ll come back at the end of the semester to see if we got anything wrong (we wont...) and do a recap of the semester as a whole.

The Summer A Recap

With the start of Summer B, now is the time to look back at the semester that was. Before we move on, let’s look back at the happenings of Summer A. If you weren’t here, Summer A was Summer B. Summer A is usually that time when you attempt to recover your GPA from the debauchery of the Spring Semester. There is nobody on campus, so you're free to focus and stay productive. Maybe. But nobody ever really leaves Gainesville, they just say they do. So of course The Black Community was in full force and disturbing the public. If Summer A was any indication of the strength of The Black Community, then Summer B should be historic. Somebody might die. After the jump are some things that made Summer A memorable.

Bright Futures? Nah, Just Kidding!

UF just hit everybody over the head Friday with this email concerning the Bright Futures Scholarship. Oh, and lest we forget, Summer B starts Monday. Thanks for the heads up UF. The state reduced award amounts about 40$ each, even with tuition already being crack prices. Its only a matter of time before the money received from Bright Futures equals a free burrito bowl from Chipotle.

As expected, the Black Community is up in arms that we won’t be able to buy as much from Oaks Mall once financial aid rolls around. You can’t mess with Black Folks money like that. Bright Futures is the reason why 90% of students are here anyway. People are going to start passing over UF in favor of HBCU’s (*shudders*) if this keeps up.

Bright futures is looking real dim right now. More students are going to be saying hello to loans and grants, and goodbye to ballin’ in the food court and the bookstore. Expect less students to consider staying in state for college. There isn’t any convincing reason to stay anymore, especially when you can go somewhere with an actual thriving Black Community. You know how much you wanted to go to Howard University and find someone that looks like Stacey Dash or Boris Kodjoe.

Incoming Freshman Report. Yep, They Hood.

Summer B is right around the corner, and its that time to scope them out and see what we are about to take in to the Black Community. The initial impression: they all came from Duval. Yeah, DDDDuuuVVVAALL! You can’t even walk in that city alone after 12 noon. It looks like UF has added some partner schools to its list in order to look “more diverse”, and boy have they succeeded. I wouldn’t be surprised if UF’s plan was to get the students they know will be here for 6 years so they can rake in more money. You know Bright Futures only covers a Burrito Bowl from Chipotle now.

As evidenced by the few house parties and Oasis events, these kids clearly don’t have any inhibitions or care for social judgement. The Venue will welcome them with open arms. The type of activities girls are scared to do when AKA’s and Deltas are in the vicinity, these freshmen girls were doing full force. The freshmen guys are a mix of Waka Flocka and Chris Brown. Half of them will end up Beenie Wigglin’ in the club, the other half can’t even construct a compound sentence. Yeah buhlee dat cuz.

These students will have an impact like no other on the Black Community. They might even bring the set back. Just kidding. House parties should be more live barring nobody gets shot or anything like that. These ratchet new freshmen are already open to corruption. They’re already getting preyed on at Oasis events, taking pictures with Ques, and having “Clap Them Thighs” Competitions. You know what that means. The Oasis Talent show will be a feeding ground come next week. Better get you a dumb freshman before they figure out what it means to “Just Chill”.

The Set Is Dead.

Nobody knows when it died, but we all know it is not as live as it was “back in your day”. So whether that was the set back in 2004 (why are you still here?) or the set from Fall 2010, the sacred ground of our UF Black Community is gone. They might even start serving Krishna Lunch there.

So now the Black Community is faced with a predicament. There is no place to discuss all the happenings at UF. We need those recaps of the events, trends, and drama that’s going on out in the streets. Or the campus. Black People Twitter was revolutionary in keeping the Black Community alive. This is the next step.

The Set Is Dead will cover everything that is going on around the darker side of UF. Served with a side of humor and sarcasm, we are the source for all your information here on campus. Follow us as we remember the legacy of the set. We are deconstructing and satirizing the UF Black Community, one post at a time.