Sorority Sisters Episode 1 Review

Last night The Black Community came together as one unified group, putting aside our petty differences to sit and watch the controversial new show Sorority Sisters on our beloved VH1. This came right on the heels of that cluster in DC where new-wave Twitter Activists and old-school Al Sharpton couldn’t agree on who deserved to be the face of Black outrage. It’s great to see that we can finally compromise on important issues like VH1 shows. #Priorities

Khia on Kampus

(Source)

Somebody get they Auntie. Pictures recently hit the Internet of once relevant female rap artist Khia, draping our precious Orange & Blue over a bulldog covered in ugly tattoos. WHAT IN THE ENTIRE FUCK. Apparently, the pictures are a bid for Grandma "Thugmissess" to run for homecoming queen. No, really. Somebody from FAMU must have set us up. 

Apocalypse

It’s 2012, The Black Community, meaning that the Florida Blue Key Illuminati is hastening their plans to destroy the world in December. They’ll destroy UF piece by piece before finally turning their eyes to The Black Community. But they don’t need much help. The Black Community is already heading towards Armageddon. Bernie “The Finance Furher” Machen and his SS Dean of Student’s office looms over the campus, ready to expel any Black Person that steps out of line. BSU gets less money every year, at least that's what UNITE tells us when they try to brainwash us into voting for them. Nevermind constantly having Black People in executive positions. Finally, The freshman class gets lamer by the decade, making UF the most boring place to live since The Polos. This could be the end of The Black Community as we know it.

Black History Month: FAMU Comes to UF

Via (Source & Source)

Ahhh…Shit., The Black Community. UF done went and pulled a FAMU. Black History Month continues to be a terrible month for Black People, nevermind the irony in that statement.  First the Soul Train creator dies, then two of the arguably best Black Porn stars, one if you’re not into midgets, went and caught the AIDS, and The Game continues to be an epic disappointment. The Black Community just can’t win out here. Instead of having an uplifting event each day of February like BSU wants us to, every day brings us a new tragedy. Obama may even resign at the end of the month. The Black Community would be shattered.

3 Girls 1 Outlet

Smh, The Black Community, Smh. Where did we go wrong? Those students from a Duval County Partner School have started acting up again and have led us down the road to becoming a fully-fledged HBCU. All we need now is a decent Gator Band. No Nice Watch. When the library is no longer a safe place to study, The Black Community has a problem. We have to do better. It’s only a matter of time before the video ends up on Worldstar.

At The Fe

Santa Fe is Gainesville’s most known, but unknown second school. Completely eclipsed by the greatness that is The University of Florida, Santa Fe is that school on the other side of town, completely segregated from us “Real College Students” over here on the “Good Side of Town”. It’s that mystery area that is only visited when organizations do community service. The students at Santa Fe are those legends that you hear about in The Black Community, but only ever see at Local Night on Saturdays.

Cuz It's Cold Outside

The Epitome of LaTrace "Sensitive Ninja" Brown.

It’s officially cold, The Black Community, and that means a shift in the Black mindstate. Once the weather becomes cooler, everything switches around. All the ratchedness calms down, and activities within The Black Community start to slow down a little. It's like we all realize that we're in college again. The rumor is that Black People don't like cold weather (except for Light Skinned folks), so let's see how the weather affects The Black Community.

We Are FAMUly!

Monday marked the 124^th Anniversary of Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, also known as FAMU, or “That School Where All the Black People Are”. FAMU is that school we always like to compare ourselves against when something goes bad here at the Good Ol’ U of F. “Gator Football team is 0-12? “Well at least we’re still better than FAMU”. The UF admissions committee reverts back to segregation as its student admission policy? “Well, that’s because we don’t want to end up like FAMU”. Naked pictures leak of the community’s favorite shone? “It’s still not worse than that FAMU Sextape, did you see that lacefront???” No matter what tragedy happens on the UF Campus, the consensus within The Black Community is that we will forever be better than FAMU. Which got us to thinking, what if UF was just like FAMU? That is, what if UF was composed of just The Black Community? *Shudders* Cue the ripples and fade to black.

A Political Tragedy in 2 Parts

It’s voting season, The Black Community, and that means you’re about to be annoyed more than ever before. The only rival to be more annoying than campus politicians are those damn Humans vs. Zombie nerds. And even then, you get to see the dorks get randomly tackled in broad daylight. But with this voting season, you can't win. It’s now impossible to even walk to class without 4 campus politicians invading your personal space.