It’s back again this week, The Black Community. Despite all
the Twitter protesting and promises not to buy any more Motions Pink Hair
Lotion as a boycott to advertising, Sorority Sisters is still on the air. Based
on the mass hate watching that occurred last week, it’s now competing for
ratings with Love and Hip Hop. Great job Outrage Twitter!
Episode two focuses on the warring boutiques and the two
owner’s drastic attempts to attract at least one customer. For all their talk
about hustling, everytime we see the boutiques they are as barren as a skinny
girl’s DMs during #CuddlingSeason. There’s just nothing there to keep you warm.
Anyway we get to spend more time with the white Delta, hereby known as the
Crimson Chin, and the cornball Zeta who’s doing the best Don Lemon impersonation ever. It’s
like she forgot she’s not on the phone with white people anymore.
Unfortunately, it looks like a pure lack of excitement will
be the undoing of the show rather than the rage of the Greeks. Its episode 2
and ain’t a single piece of furniture been thrown nor as has anyone been
cheated on. Everybody just looks bored. Queen Adrene hosted a “Tea” party and
her sorors were yawning in the background. That’s sisterhood right there. The
AKA, resembling that Aunt who always brings her “special friend” with the Queen
Latifah haircut to family gatherings showed up in a dress straight outta The
Color Purple. The best form of pettiness they could throw was mentioning that
she looked like one of the founders. Ouch. Come to think of it, didn’t Celie
have a “special friend” too?
The big thing missing from this show that makes Satan
Scott-Young’s other shows flourish is the “love” aspect. It’s the one topic
that’s guaranteed to get The Black Community hype despite the fact can’t nobody
seem to find a bae. As we know, all
black people minored in Relationship Expert during college. Love and Hip Hop
gives all the Catfishes on Twitter the opportunity to wax poetic about they
would never let a man treat them like that if only they could find a man. You
don’t have that opportunity trying to fake care about whose boutique sells the most
shoes for plus-sized feet women. VH1 is alienating their fanbase. Only a select few can relate to being petty to another woman because she wears different colors. However, 90% of the
women viewers can relate to being the side chick. 100% of the women viewers can
relate to dealing with a ninja that ain’t shit.
It’s even worse for us men, who are admittedly only watching
for the lulz. Usually when you’re forced to sit and watch some Trash TV, take
Scandal for example, you at least get to oogle at Kerry Washington…and her
lips. Here everyone is shaped like a bag of bricks. All the Greek women in the
world, and they had to get the step team rejects. Some ninjas go to probates
strictly to plot their thirst endeavors for the next semester and these were
the best sorority girls they could find smh. The show could really do with more
of that light-skinned SGRho, but it looks like she’s actually playing up to her
organization’s stereotypes by being woefully left out. What a shame. The main character
Adrene is East African, meaning she’s made out of the best stuff on earth. She’s
all of 100 pounds and her ass is a solid 250. Allahu Akbar. That’s 2 out of 12
decent women. What a waste of a line.
Satan Scott-Young really has to ramp up the ratchetry if
this show is to succeed. It would be a damn shame to see this show get canceled
because they didn’t pull enough weave. Priyanka has hers harvested from the
heads of at least three Malaysian teenagers. It’s not like they don’t have any
just laying around. Maybe they can get that cornball Zeta’s boyfriend somehow
more involved. Unfortunately he’s
probably hanging on to her for dear life since he’s an engineering technician;
meaning he spent five years of his life to gain the earning potential of a
liberal arts major. Poor guy.
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