Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Sorority Sisters Episode 1 Review


Last night The Black Community came together as one unified group, putting aside our petty differences to sit and watch the controversial new show Sorority Sisters on our beloved VH1. This came right on the heels of that cluster in DC where new-wave Twitter Activists and old-school Al Sharpton couldn’t agree on who deserved to be the face of Black outrage. It’s great to see that we can finally compromise on important issues like VH1 shows. #Priorities


Everybody seemed poised to hate on this show we hadn’t even seen before, right after sitting through an hour of Love and Hip Hop, screaming YAAAASSSSSSSSS because some person named Fizz was gonna end up becoming a single mother. Sorority Sisters looked to be the exact same show except all the girls just happened to be Greek women. Mona Scott-Young was about to offend the two most sensitive groups on the face of the Earth, Shea Butter Twitter and Greeks. She was going to make history.

See the thing is Greeks take criticism like Kanye West. Once it was announced that the ratchet spotlight was going to be turned on them as opposed to some washed-up rap stars, they weren't having it. Some Twitter Activist hatched a plan to boycott every company that advertised during the show as a way to take a stand. Of course it was about as much BS as thinking that not buying a flat screen you couldn't afford anyway at Best Buy was gonna get cops to stop shooting black kids in the street. We knew nobody was going to #BoycottMetroPCS #BoycottPopeyes #BoycottMotionsPinkLotion after all the blessings they've provided for The Black Community.

Where the real outrage should have been directed was the fact that of all the AKAs in the world, they went and got the one with most striking resemblance to Wendy Williams. A vicious insult to all the thirst that has been generated over 100 years for the pink and green. The show isn’t even a real representation of Greek Culture either, as the badddest one on the show is an SGRho who meows. LOL

The big shocker is that all these sorority sisters are MIDDLE-AGED. They all supposedly crossed in Spring 2009 though. One of the Deltas can’t even remember when she crossed, but she’s certain it was “a long time ago”. Priyanaka who rocks the half-Rapunzel half-Amber Rose is 28 in her mind but Aunt Viv in the face. You know her process wasn't paper. The main character seems to be Adrene, but she’s East African so she’s doomed to always look 38 no matter what her age. As a special shoutout to diversity in these troubling times, they included a white Delta from Arkansas who looks like her jaw could benchpress a good 250. They all hail from prestigious HBCUs you've never heard of such as East Jackson Heights University and South Carol City College, and there might have been one from Edward Waters.

For a while it looked as if the Zetas were going to be safe from this shitshow, and could just watch and laugh at the other organizations’ misfortunes. Fortunately, the Zeta that did show up looked like she had control over her chicken cravings, and was actually pretty decent. She was the only one who wasn’t bae-less, as a Zeta should never ever be, God Bless them. We don’t know if her boo is Greek, but homeboy looks like an epic simp and is probably going to get cheated on later in the season, so I guess his organization is already being hinted at.

The deltas came deep on the show with a line of 37, and there was only 1 AKA, 1 SGRho and 1 Zeta. It makes you wonder how many people rejected coming on the show. Its obvious VH1 was trying to cut their losses; they even started the damn show off with a warning disclaimer like this was an episode of Jackass or something. Everything was rather standard VH1 trash TV fare though. I heard FAMU was planning on presenting the show as a documentary to attract students the same way UF shows that “Go Cure Cancer” video.

There’s so much pandering to the Greek audience that’s guaranteed to hate the show regardless. The show nearly becomes Greek 101 For Dummies. We have great info dropped like “She’s my neo – that means I hazed her before she could wear letters”. Yikes. You’d think every beef on the show would be settled by step-off.

It’s obvious that Greek Life is the most important thing in these ladies’ lives, as they can’t end a sentence without saying “Did I mention I’m Greek!?!” They are the ones you see in the club clearing out space for the stroll lines. They are the ones you only saw at the probate and at graduation. Unfortunately for their respective organizations, these are the type of girls who were looking to be saved by reality TV. Each one of these girls only had 500 Twitter followers before the show even aired, so you know what type of people they were. They didn't even have booking info in their bio, so that meant regular ninjas had a chance at em.

The show isn't even really that disparaging to the Greek organizations. Rather than present the organizations themselves as assholes, it’s really just a show about a group of assholes that just happen to be Greek. They’d be T-Shirt wearers 20 years earlier. The alarm and outrage is more so a statement on each organization’s insecurities. Take the letters away, add in a washed-up basketball husband or rap star, and it’s the same old formula Mona Scott has been profiting from for years. The pettiness is only magnified to panic levels due to Greeks being a part of it. It’s similar to how rap is only terrifying and detestable when Lil Wayne is doing it, and not when Iggy Azalea and Macklemore are.

We The Black Community supported the creation of this whole fiasco through the widespread success of Mona’s other shows, so she’s an equal opportunity exploiter. It’s all fun and games until the jokes on you. Fortunately, through the large influence the Greek Organizations hold, they may finally be the chosen ones that put a halt to Mona’s destruction of the reputation of The Black Community. It’s ironic to see her do this on VH1 of all places, a channel that 20 years ago boasted that it didn't play any black music.

Therefore, it may be better to direct the hatred towards her rather than everybody who’s not Greek. Or better yet, the fellow Greeks on the show who are making a fool of themselves. Everybody, non-Greeks included should be allowed to comment on Mona’s travesty at large, not just the specific subject matter. Just words of advice though, don’t go picking your prospective organizations by who is your favorite character. Either way, it’s going to be difficult boycotting this show with 5 million people watching Mona’s work weekly. Maybe go read a book or something.

It’s bewildering to see the outrage at this show that doesn't even comment on Greek life. School Daze, which is held up as an enjoyable classic, focused on the issues of Greekdom some 25 years prior, and Spike Lee was eating dog food in that movie.

Join us for Sorority Sisters Episode 2 as we explore Plus-Sized Feet Women, Drink Throwing, and one of the cast reveals she’s a lesbian! *GASP*

What do you think?

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