Gainesville Sickness?

Summer B is over, The Black Community, and we have 2 weeks to ourselves until the Fall semester comes and we actually have to start learning again. All over Facebook and Twitter there are status updates about “I’m so ready to leave stupid Gainesville”, followed by “I’m bored”, all within 24 hours (LOL). It seems as soon as you get home and realize your hometown is deserted, we're all yearning to be back in Gainesville again. We’ve said it before; Gainesville has a gravitational pull. Hell some of us can’t even make it out of Gainesville in the first place.

While back at home, the blessing of attending college becomes strikingly clear. College saves lives. It’s crazy coming back and seeing all the high school buddies. Your homeboys that were too cool for school are now serving you Large Number 2’s from Arbys. No Kreyshawn. All those high-school athletes that were guaranteed to go to the NFL are now watching Monday Night Football from the comfort of Mom’s couch. Ouch. Or heavily pimping outside the HUB. You might never know if you don’t take a trip over there. Think what could have happened if they actually went to college. All those sexy girls from high school could be in college getting into clubs for free and spending ridiculous amounts of financial aid on useless stuff at Oaks Mall. But instead they’re at home nursing their 3 kids. Damn. They could even be getting hit on by creepy Gainesville locals if they were baaddd enough. A fun game is to walk through the mall and see how many people from high school you recognize. College is that protective sanctuary that protects against the pressures of real life. It's like a 4-5-6 year hiatus from going into the real world. And thank God for that, we're not ready. We still have to attend stepshows and football games. Priorities, people.

Being back at home with the parents is also awkward. Shit, we’re grown now! We deal with sophisticated adult problems, like: “How am I gonna afford to get into the club on Friday?”. It’s always weird coming back home, especially when in that college state of mind. Mom and Dad call to shower love and praise and say how much you’re missed, while secretly turning your room into the office they’ve always wanted. Ruthless. You come home for a 2 week vacation, and parents are expecting you to do chores. What? Parents and siblings are waking up at 7am, but you don’t roll out of bed until 12:30. Just like in Gainesville when you have those 12:50 classes. The real conflict arises over curfew and bedtime. We stay up until 3am surfing Facebook and not studying while at school, so a midnight curfew is unacceptable. And it’s impossible to come back home faded after a night of clubbing, lest you be a bad influence to your siblings, or your parents are sitting at the front door, waiting for you to come home, like in those American Pie movies. It's even more difficult to keep them occupied for two weeks, so they don't ask to see any grades. They'd be upset if they knew about the awesome parties that happened during these past six weeks.

There are some benefits to being home however. Finally those Ramen Noodles can be put away in favor of some good old Mom Food. It might even be better than Chipotle. It’s now possible to upgrade from Five Star Pizza and get Papa John’s, and spare your intestines the accompanying distress. Allowances and gifts are the new financial aid, and it gets spent just as carelessly. Best of all, everything is free. It’s like being in high school again. Just point and say “Mommy, I want!” and it will appear in front of you like magic. Brilliant. And with all that free time, important things can finally be completed, such as watching that new season of Jersey Shore, or catching up on the latest episodes of ShoneTV. There's also the time to visit all those high-school buddies that we all swore we would keep in contact with in college (That didn't go so well...). It's great to see the impact that college has had on others. That same guy that had the latest and greatest Abercrombie gear is now chilling in the Plaza of The Americas, barefoot, eating Krishna Lunch and smoking all his brain cells to death. That shy girl in the back of the class now has her picture posted in the basement of some White Frat House. Whoa. And you can explain The Set to them. "Oh where all those noisy Black People are?" Yeah that's us.

Enjoy your time at home, The Black Community, and we’ll see everybody back in Gainesville for the start of the Fall. We’re gonna have some fun.